THE SKY WAS FALLING

It is with tremendous regret that I must inform you all of my unconsolable sadness.  As some of you may know, I was recently retained as a public relations specialist for the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.  Earlier today I am sure you were waiting with baited breath to witness the spectacular delivery into orbit of the observation satellite that was in fact named after me - the "Glorious Taylor Poppy Shaw Global Observation Satellite."  Instead of celebrating the 100th Anniversary of the birthday of Kil Il sung, the launch was more or less like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

I am sure many of you are just as distraught as me over this obvious act of sabotage by either Japanese conspirators or an act of terrorism by the late Harlan Sanders and his explosive concoction of 11 herbs and spices.  I simply cannot put into words the sadness that I am feeling.  I have attached a photo to share with you my angst -- feel my pain!!!

The only thing that is getting me through these troubling times is the nearly full season of Duck Dynasty that I have recorded on the DVR.  I urge you all to keep the faith for the DPRK, I know you all look forward to the day when you can spend your spring break enjoying all the sights of Pyongyang, home of the 234th largest ball of twine and one of the worlds most active museums of torture, second only to Guantanamo - hopefully.

Well Meg keeps distracting me with milk and OZ is just pacing back and forth mumbling incoherently about the prospects of the Bears this season in a state of consternation.  My only hope is that if I just cry long enough and loud enough one of you out there will step up and get me a real drink and teach me how to send these updates myself.

Well I think I just dropped a present for my folks so I am going to warm up the vocal chords for a little concert.  Keep the faith.

My unconsolable screaming has been kindly translated by Uncle Poppy - Guest Blogger. . .  who was under the influence of my mind splitting screaming and drinks that he was hoping would drown them out, which apparently only limited effect. . .